Marz's Bar

Things I Have Learned Upon Graduating

2010-09-24T23:19:00.000-07:00

It has been approximately four months since I have been out of university. Well, not exactly. It has been four months since I have finished my degree, but I stayed for three months during the summer for a research assistant position. So technically, it has been almost two months since I have left UTM. Do I miss it?

Let me start by saying by telling a story. The other day I was walking around the South Common Mall area and I happened to notice a swarm of students coming off the bus with backpacks; giggling, laughing, talking in their cell phones, the usual fare. I noticed how normal it was to all of them and how abnormal I felt about being there at that time. It dawned on me fully that I was no longer a part of that life. Now, I'm not saying that I will never be a part of that life again, but just that the student life of undergrad is done. Finished.

So back to the question. I miss it profoundly, but I am also ready to move on from it. Sort of. But first, let me tell you of my struggles since graduating.

1) Be prepared to write a lot of resumes and cover letters. I was joking with my aunt when she asked for the umpteenth time how my job search was going - "I picked the wrong time to graduate" I said. Which was actually true. The job market is crap right now. Everyone knows it; the media constantly report it, the government warns of it and schools hint at during job fairs. But yet, each semester, each university keeps churning out new grads who are all competing for the same jobs in this market. So my first piece of advice would be to not panic. It will take time to find a job right now. Please, do not view it as a failure and do not get frustrated which so many of my friends have done. This especially applies if you have just graduated with a BA with little to no job experience in a career type role. Just remember that you are smart, talented and capable. And you will find something in time.

2) Coming across a full time job in a field that you really want may be a lot more difficult right now. When doing my job searches, I realized that there were less employment opportunities right now for new grads and some companies have decided to forgo their new graduate programs for a year or two because of their financial situations. So if you can, apply for a volunteer position in a field that you really would like to get into for now. I realize that new grad = broke, so paid employment is needed, but if you can schedule it in and there is an opportunity do not let it slip by. Meaningful volunteer roles in places that you would eventually like to work in do count for a lot - both for yourself and for the company. Extra points if it involves helping someone.

3) Re-evaluate your resumes and cover letters and make sure that they are perfection (or as close to perfection as you believe they can be). There are several websites (just google it!) and the career centre that can help you with this. I will write a post about perfecting resumes shortly for help with this. And yes, spending time on a resume and cover letter to tailor it for the job positing you are applying for will truly make the difference between landing an interview or not.

4) Network. If you have family or friends who are employed in a company that you envision yourself working in, contact them and ask them for inside information. It may lead you somewhere or it may not. I did this and got forwarded a job posting that was only supposed to be internal to the company that I was applying it. I didn't get the job, but I did get access to a posting that only limited undergrads were competing for, making my chances that much stronger. I can understand the hesitation in people's head when I mention networking, because I feel the same way. As a devoted introvert, networking scares me to no end. But it helps to keep on friendly terms with people and there is no harm in asking family. In my experience, no one has ever turned me down when I politely asked them about seeking employment at their company.

5) Stay in touch with professors that you like and that you did well with and are on good terms with. You never know when you will need a letter or advice from them in the future. Do this genuinely with those that you truly like and care about and it wont feel like a chore at all.

6) Consider going to college for a certificate or a diploma in a professional program or to further your studies. Colleges like Sheridan or Humber offer a lot of great programs that I know graduates have gone into. The HR management certificate is the next option for almost 99% of people I know who graduated with a BA. But always do your research and find out employment perspectives and like any place that you are going to go to, research the school. Talk to alumni, talk to the professors and attend the open house.

7) And remember to just keep smiling and applying and put yourself out there. It's best to start volunteering and gaining experience while you are in school for a job / career that you would like when you graduate, but I also know that this is not always possible. Just keep an open mind and keep busy with the things you love to do.

These are all things I picked up over the past two months and some of which I wish that I had realized earlier. I am about to start a new job which I am incredibly nervous and scared about so I figured I would write this now, and come back to it and reflect upon it in a couple months. I think that staying positive has helped me to get to this point right now and I hope that it will get me even further.

If you have any questions of me about graduating, or the post-grad life, please leave a comment below or email me (marz.noventa@gmail.com) and I would be happy to answer it.

History / Historical Studies Course Review UTM

2010-05-21T22:07:00.000-07:00

Again, this is in no way exhaustive of a list of the courses that are offered at UTM. There are TONS of history courses at UTM.I kind of found history to be tougher than political science in some sense because of the short half courses that require tons of more work than full year courses, but the payoff is great because I learned in a whole new perspective than I would have if I only took political science.

HIS101: Intro to historical studies: Professor Tavakoli

If you’re going into history or any other history related major, I think you have to take HIS101. This was probably the toughest course for a lot of first years only because it was an introduction to all the major philosophers and writers of historical theory and sometimes it’s just hard to grasp. It’s very writing focused, and you must develop your writing skills through this course. I don’t think that Prof Tavakoli teaches this course anymore, but when he did, he was great. Sometimes he would go off on a tangent, but I did learn a lot from him. But I must warn you, this is a hard course. Don’t take it if you don’t need to. But do take it to improve your writing skills if you are concerned about this.

HIS201: Intro to Middle Eastern studies: Professor Farah...

I honestly feel really bad but I do not remember the professor for this course! I took it in the summer when it was a very short course and it has changed considerably since I’ve taken it. Overall, the course was fairly easy and the material was very easy too. There was only one essay, a presentation, and a midterm test as far as I remember. The presentations were all about Islam in the modern world, which were very interesting topics. I have heard from people who have taken the course with other professors and all have said it’s generally very easy.

HIS250: Intro to Russian History: Professor Borzecki

One of my favourite professors in the history department! I loved taking Russian history with him. This course was very straightforward which I loved. It had one essay (which is a big component of the course and you are required to hand in a proposal early to determine a topic), a midterm and the final exam. The topics were really interesting and taking it in light of my Russian politics course it really helped me define some of the historical routes of Russia’s dilemmas. Borzecki’s lectures are very interesting, but be prepared to write a lot of notes; he gives a lot of details and all are important for the midterm and the final exam.

HIS261: Intro to Canadian History: Professor White

I took this course in the summer and it was very good, especially as an intro course to Canadian history. The topics were broad. There was one midterm, an essay and a final exam. The topics were easy to grasp and Professor White really loves what he teaches so it’s always great to have someone who is enthusiastic about the topic. This is a fairly easy course, all that is required is to take good lecture notes and to really listen to the overall themes that are discussed in the course as those were all on the final exam.

HIS295: Intro to African History: Professor Neil Marshall

So this course started off a bit rocky. Apparently we were supposed to have a professor, but he never showed up to the first day of class. The next week, a TA came in and said he would teach the course. Professor Marshall was really nice, but he had everything going against him when he started teaching this course: there was no outline, no syllabus, no readings in the bookstore, etc. He did the best with what he was given for this course. The course was really interesting and I learned a lot but to be honest, I learned more at home doing the required readings and assignments than attending the lectures because they just generally seemed disorganized to me. I got a really good mark in this course though and Prof Marshall did help me a lot in my final essay. I remember there were a couple small assignments and a big essay at the end of this course.

HIS307: Russian Revolutions of 1917: professor Borzecki

This was a great course as well with Professor Borzecki. He just really knows how to make courses interesting in Russian history. I liked this course because it looked at a particular chunk of Russia’s history and a very interesting chunk (the best story was about Rasputin). The course it’s fairly straightforward although I found the amount of information that was needed for the final exam was a bit much. You really need to memorize a lot for this course. There was one essay, one midterm and a final exam. The midterm was the easiest. A note on Borzecki’s courses: make sure that you find the best sources possible for the essay topic as the essay sources are scrutinized for their content and accuracy by the professor and all essays are marked by him.

HIS338: The Holocaust and Nazi Germany: Professor Wittmann

I think this has to be my favourite and most interesting course I have ever taken in university, and the one that I have learned the most from. I never intended to take this course, it just happened to fall into my schedule, but I am so happy I took it. First of all, it provided such an amazing perspective about a topic that I thought I had general knowledge about. The detail and the way that professor Wittmann lectures is amazing. We had a concentration camp survivor to come speak to us at the end of the class and it was an experience I will never forget. This course really did change the way I looked at the holocaust and Germany’s history and law in general. It was kind of hard as they graded fairly tough, but I ended up with a fairly good mark in the end. There is a book review, an essay, a midterm and a final exam for this course. The final exam is not as tough as the midterm in my opinion. The book review was probably the hardest component of this. There are also tutorials which I recommended that you attend as they helped me a lot for the final exam.

HIS366: Diasporic Histories and Cultures: Professor Rima Berns McGown

Such a wonderful course with such a wonderful professor. I really enjoyed this course. It was incredibly interesting and we discussed a lot of current and relevant issues regarding identity and race and religion of various peoples around the world. Professor McGown is such a delight and is very insightful and really conducts the class very well in group discussions. We saw a lot of movies that were really good in this course. It was fairly easy as long as you did the readings. There was a short intro to yourself, two short assignments and a major essay where you synthesize several novels that were supposed to be read into an essay. It was fairly easy if you can handle reading five novels in a semester. They were all interesting though which made it better.

As always feel free to ask me any questions about my experiences regarding history coruses at UTM in the comment section below. I always answer questions!

Political Science Course Review UTM

2010-04-09T23:57:00.000-07:00

This is in no way exhaustive, and these are just some of the courses I took at university with some of the profs. Some have left unfortunately. Also, if you have any questions do leave a comment on this post and I'll get back to you! Ps, this is just for the political science courses at UTM, Geography (GGR) and History (HIS) and CCIT (CCT) courses will be blogged about later. Oh, and I didn't know the actual names of some of the courses, but the codes are all correct.

POL111: Politics of Canada: Professor Johns

· Amazing course because of the professor. Seriously, it was such a tragedy when Professor Johns left UTM! He was the most amazing lecturer; a bitter and ascorbic version of John Stewart. He really gave the most amazing and engaging lectures and he always took the first ten minutes of class to just talk about daily events. He would engage the students and your belly would laugh after his lectures were over because of the lectures. I wish he taught more at UTM! As for the course content, I might have not been the best judge because I had already taken so many political science courses beforehand so it was all review for me. But for a first year looking to just skim the surface of political systems in general, it was informative and easy. Just one midterm, one paper and one exam and tutorials.

POL113: ideas and Ideologies: Professor Lippincott

· Ask anyone at UTM who their favourite professor is; chances are if they’ve taken Poli Sci it will be Lippincott. He’s an amazing lecturer and just SO hilarious that coming to class early in the morning for him was worth it. The course content is ok IF you are into political theory or philosophy. Surprisingly, that's what I’m best at; give me Plato or Hobbes and I’m pretty much good to write a paper. BUT for those who don't know about theory, this course would be really dry. Granted, if you want to do a political science specialist / major, you must take POL200 and this is a nice intro. I *hated* the essay for this course though, and it was my lowest mark in first year. The essay was to apply political philosophy to the show of survivor. It may sound easy, but it was a bore and the TAs marked it as if we were in our fourth year. The midterm was super easy though, and the exam was easy too. But take it just for Lippincott and you would probably still have a good impression of the course!

POL114: World Issues: Professor Johns

· My FIRST poli sci course! Ah, professor Johns, he is the one that made me want to study political science. Every lecture of his was a treat! The course was really good, taught me *a lot* about basic political institutions, political figures, basic history and the like. The TAs were good, nothing to complain about. The format was easy; midterm, essay, tutorials and exam. Everyone had something to say in tutorial because if you read the newspaper / watched TV you could just discuss those topics.

POL242: Methods: Professor Lachapelle

· Such a wonderful professor that I thought made all the statistics material really easy to learn! Seriously good at lecturing and really, really helpful! I know the material can be confusing for some students because its math based and those who are not mathematically inclined may tend to find it challenging. But I live and breathe quantitative analysis, so it was great for me. The course structure was good too; just four assignments and a in-class exam or a paper. I loved this course, but I would say be cautious to take it if you don't need it, it could drop your GPA if you don't understand statistics and statistical analysis (regression, control tables, crosstabs, etc).

POL208: Intro to International Relations: Professor Yaniszewski

· Good prof. I took this in the summer and it was a very easy, laid back course. It was interesting and the Prof was engaging. He gave *a lot* of details and tested you on those details so make sure to take good notes if you ever have him as a professor. The course was really good, we learned theory at first and then actual case studies. The course had a 15% tutorial and that was a bit of a bore. I found the lectures to be better than the tutorials. There was a midterm, an exam, tutorials and one essay. He has his own citation style so make sure to follow this because he takes off a lot of marks if you do not follow it to a tee!

POL200: Political Theory: Professor Ferry

· Professor Ferry is so nice! He was so understanding and gave out extensions when you really needed them. I like political theory so this course was a breeze for me. Well not a breeze, I did do a lot of work, but it wasn’t too hard if you know what you’re talking about. The lectures were informative about the content of what you were reading so it wasn’t bad. The course style was two essays, tutorials, little quizzes in class and an exam. The quizzes helped getting you on track with the reading, and the tutorials were 20% and were really easy.

POL214: Canadian Government and Politics: Professor Pond

· Really funny prof! I just wish that I tried harder in the class. He gives a lot of information and its easy to follow. I hated my TA and I never went to tutorial and the other TA who marked screwed everyone over. I’ve never gotten such low marks before, especially in a second year political science course! I loved the prof though. There were two essays, a midterm, tutorial and an exam. I studied by butt off for the exam and it was really hard, harder than my third year political science courses.

POL302: Politics of Western Europe and the European Union: Professor Yaniszewski and Schatz

· So the professor changed half way through the year. Thank God for Yaniszewski in the first half; made it so simple with a midterm and a simple essay. His lectures were full of little details you had to know, but easy to get an A. With Schatz there was considerably more work involved; you MUST be prepared for lectures. This means having done all the readings beforehand. We focused on Islam in Europe for the second half. If you don’t know diasporic theory, get up to date with it for this course. The topic really interested me, so I did well. The exam was easy but hard. He gave you a bunch of maybe essay questions beforehand, so you had an idea that one of them would be on it, but it was impossible to write out 10 essays before an exam. But this was a really high mark for me so I will not complain. Format of the second half was an essay and the exam.

POL354: Russian politics: Professor Johns

· Took this solely for my favourite prof! The lectures were really interesting. Truly, this course was the foundation for all the other courses I ended up taking in Russian history. I wrote a lot of papers on Russia throughout undergrad, that's for sure! Just awesome course, awesome prof. I may not have enjoyed the course that much if it weren’t for the prof though. There was a midterm, an essay and an exam. Easy A.

POL327: Comparative Foreign Policy: Professor Jurgensen

· This professor is SO wise! I feel weird saying that, but it’s true. He knows everything. He’s a good lecturer, but be prepared for a lot of theory discussion in the beginning. The fun part of the course is after the midterm when you talk about case studies. Also, he can be really fast and the details are really important, so ask him to slow down and write really fast! His midterm was a little hard, but the final exam was easy. There was also one paper which was easy too.

An UNCENSORED Guide to the University of Toronto (Mississauga campus specifically) for social sciences and humanities

2010-04-09T17:48:00.001-07:00

Image Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scottnorsworthy/3218828689/

So I just finished my entire undergraduate degree in social sciences (honours B.A.) from the UTM campus, and I’m going to give all those prospective newbies a what to expect out of UTM kind of post because I wish that someone did this for me! I really hope that someone who needs to know about UTM finds this in their epic search for more information. I can’t talk about a science degree (bio, chem, etc) because I’m sure that that experience is really different from a social science one. Here goes:

· UTM, like the rest of UofT, is a RESEARCH institute. Do not go into the social sciences here expecting to get a ‘practical’ education and be exposed to what the workforce would be like. My dear, UofT prides itself on being the best at research and for making scholars out of all its wee young ones. Yes, the focus of university is NOT to get a job or any practical job training (go into a practical program for that, like nursing) it is to make you a scholar. If this is not your goal, then seriously reconsider spending $30 000 on something that you do not want.
· DO go to UofT if you would like to go into a Masters program which requires a Masters thesis / research (most programs do, but there are certain masters programs that are more practical based, like the MPP program at Queens). I have many friends who have had their undergraduate education from UofT and let me tell you, there is no university that prepares you better for a Masters program. The quality of work and just the overall expectations that UofT has for its students is unparalleled, and this *really* comes out when you work with others from other universities. There is a reason UofT is usually rated number one in academic pursuits.
· DO NOT go to the UTM campus expecting wild parties, social outings, OR GOOD FOOD. Honestly, the UTM campus is a health hazards to students watching their waist line. There are minimal options on campus and around campus. And the food is really expensive. My advice is to bring your own lunch! Also, on campus life is a lot different than if you don't live on campus. UTM can be a real community if you live on campus, but if you commute, you may feel out of touch. Try to make a lot of friends in your program early to help with the loneliness.
· The gym at UTM is spectacular. Just really amazing. One thing that the campus got right.
· I really like the library too, but there are conflicting opinions in regard to the library. Personally, I like it, I use the quiet study space and its comfortable and quiet, just what a library should be. The group study is good too, but it’s hard to find a space to sit sometimes and GOOD LUCK trying to get a computer. They’re always busy. And one thing that really sucks: STAYAWAY from the “15 minute” express computers. They have screwed me over one too many times. It takes 10 minutes to load a program, especially Microsoft Word. And it automatically shuts down without saving anything, so you lose anything that you did anyways.
· My advice is to make sure you have a laptop from first year onward. Best brands that actually last: Lenovo or IBM, Macbook Pro or just a Macbook, and SOME Toshiba models. Models that tend to break apart are Dell and HP. I have no opinion on Asus or Acer. I used to have a LG and it was super pretty, but the cord started breaking within the first week, so not good. But I know some LG’s are really good. They are really delicate and if you’re clumsy like me they may not be suited to your lifestyle. Sony’s I think are just overpriced for what you are getting; you are paying for the brand. But they are average computers, they look really nice though!
· Be open minded when you enter your first year of social sciences. Take a variety of courses, and see which one you would like to do a major in. At UofT, you don’t declare your majors / minors / specialists until the end of your first year (or I think after four credits) and so this first year should be an exploration of the things you like. I never signed up to do Political Science right away, but after first year, I loved it! And make sure you know the DATES of when to declare your subject posts on ROSI.
· Speaking of dates, ALWAYS know the dates to get 100%, 75% and 50% of your refunds back from courses you would like to get out of. Look these up on the registrars website. Keep them memorized or written down and honestly think about dropping a course. It can really mess up your GPA if you only keep a course for the sake of keeping it and not doing well. And trust me, unless you want to do nothing after university (which is fine), then it’s not worth it to let your GPA fall. Sometimes, its just better to drop a course. Case and point; I am not a morning person at all. I cannot make it to any class that is before 11am. It’s just not something I can do. I had a class that was at 9:00am to 11:00am, and I thought long and hard about if I was seriously going to do well in this considering I likely would not be able to get to lecture and miss all the crucial points of the course. I just dropped it, and I’m glad I did because in retrospect it would have been a poor choice to keep it because I would have gotten a bad mark in the course.
· Keep your GPA as high as humanly possible, especially in the first year. This is the crucial year for your GPA. I know some people who had horrendous GPA’s in their first year but were able to pull them up, but there is a barrier that they could never cross; they could never get higher than a 3.0. Your first year is your foundation year; make it as good as possible.
· How to get a good GPA? If you are an ok / mediocre writer, then be careful about social sciences as everything is about writing coherently, consistently, clearly, and being able to argue your points effectively. The content of your writing is important, but the most important thing is to write clearly. The HMALC has people who will go through your work and give you very helpful feedback on your work. YOU MUST learn to write an effective essay, critical review and reports. It’s best you learn in your fist year. I know this seems daunting, but it will be worth it to have these skills, as I know many people in the work force right now who are unable to do this.
· Learn what constitutes plagiarism. Seriously. I know many people who are otherwise hardworking, who have been caught for plagiarism without even knowing that they were doing it. Obviously, coping and pasting is just unsophisticated and you never get away with it. But I’m talking about ALL forms of plagiarism. Mostly all professors will charge you, you will go to the dean, and you will piss in your pants out of fear. This may ruin your GPA or your academic career in general.
· Go to your tutorials if they are worth marks. Seriously, I WISH I listened to my own advice on this one. Otherwise 4.0’s on my GPA were just 3.7 or 3.3’s due to my lack of attendance for an easy 10% of my grade. Learn from my mistakes folks. Its only an hour (usually) and you won’t even remember going.
· Secret: in a lot of courses you can get away without doing a lot of reading if you take excellent lecture notes. These notes have to be excellent though. Verbatim is best. This is how I do my lecture notes and they were coveted by all my friends for their accuracy and all details. If you can’t do this however, read your readings.
· Learn to read your textbooks / lecture notes effectively. Not everything will be tested, and you don't need to memorize everything. Who has the time for that?! You need to gain these skills. The best skill is to take a large amount of text and be able to accurately paraphrase it in your own words in a couple of sentences. Learn this skill. The HMALC can help with this too!
· Use all the resources that UTM has to offer; the gym, the library, Mac labs, etc. You pay for these, might as well get FULL usage out of them.
· Join a club that you’re interested in! It can be a lot of fun, and you can meet cool people who otherwise would have been strangers to you. UTM has a lot of ethnic clubs, so if you’re interested in that then go for it! Clubs week is in September so sign up for all the clubs you actually like and they’ll email you about meetings, etc. Also, UTM is a very pro-environmental campus, so if you’re into that then join an environmental club!
· If you are on OSAP, then in the beginning of September look on the career centre website for work-study opportunities. Work-study is a great thing to make money while on OSAP and all the jobs are on campus. Also, usually professors are your bosses so it’s a great way to network.
· Be a keener; if a professor is working on a project / has worked on a project that you think is interesting, then ask them about it! I find professors easier to talk to than some of my classmates. Usually, they are pretty flattered and a lot of them actually care about you. I can’t say the same for TAs. Most TA’s I’ve had have been less than helpful. It might just be my luck and my program though. But if you’re concerned about your mark in a course and you have access to the TA who is marking your work, talk to them about it. Usually, those who I’ve talked to can put a face to a name and mark kinder; sad but true!
· If you’re an academic keener like me, seize every opportunity to get experience! I want to do a Masters thesis, so I made sure to do an ROP. An ROP is short for a Research Opportunity Program and it is an excellent way to teach practical research skills and to work on an actual research project that may or may not be published. Plus, it’s a great way to network with profs, and it shows your interest to Grad schools! Do multiple ROPs if you can. I think you can start doing them in your second or third year, depending on the program and the ROP for the year.

Hope this helped a bit. Leave a comment on this post if you have a question, I'll be checking it and answering it back! I'll be back to do a review of all the courses and profs that I've had too, so check back!

Easier

2010-03-27T22:18:00.001-07:00

I don't care what they say; it doesn't get any easier with time.
If you're going to cry your heart out,
You're likely to do it for a long time.

Romance

2010-03-20T23:47:00.000-07:00

Ugh. I'm so emotional lately and I have no idea why. Maybe its just the school stress added on with other things that have been going through my head and life. Damn brain and living. What certainly didn't help my disposition was watching the movie Australia tonight while I should have been studying. I watched it after remembering that I hadn't seen Hugh Jackman with this shirt off lately. So I needed a good dose of that. But what I got was a dose of tears and warm fuzzy feelings, which I kind of wanted to avoid for a while since that has been happening *alot* lately. The tears that is, not the warm fuzzy feelings. Although those do come and go occasionally. But it just made me that much more ravenous for Romantic movies. Those happy and tragic ones which are so good at drawing out my inner sap. Anyways, I decided to keep a list on here of my favorite romantic movies of all time. I'll likely be updating it all the time, seeing as I've just got two more movies right beside me as I type this. Will I be doing my work tonight? Likely, not. So here goes:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (so beautiful and tragic all at the same time)
Australia (for Hugh Jackman, but also for the sad story about the lost generation)
Definitely, Maybe (one of the best rom-coms I've ever seen)
Love, Actually (still one of the funniest)
La Vita e Bella (so sad!)
A Touch of Pink (favourite movie of *all* time)
Phantom of the Opera (why have I not bought this yet?!)
P.S I love you (too many tears shed during this movie)
A Walk to Remember
Forrest Gump (its a classic ok?)
The Brother's Bloom
Memoirs of a Geisha
Eurotrip (I don't care what you say, it's romantic that Scotty goes across Europe to find his pen pal!)

And the award for the worst must certainly go to any of the Twilight movies. Please don't lynch mob me Twi-hards!

South Common Petting Zoo

2010-03-16T22:25:00.000-07:00

Anyone that knows me knows what I love more than anything else in the world. In case you don't know me, that one thing is (are?) animals. There is nothing more comforting to me then petting a soft companion animal or some form of wildlife (provided that it wants to be pet). Ethical issues aside, and boy are there many with petting zoos, I visited one in my local mall that was put there for march break. There were goats, porcupines, some sort of marsupial, and cows. The baby goat was my favourite. There isn't really a review that I can give for a petting zoo, as they are mostly all the same. They all smell like barn, all the animals look like they would rather be somewhere else, and they were all absolutely adorable. Obviously, I have mixed feelings towards these sorts of public displays of animals in cages, but I do think that showing children animals and teaching them animal empathy would make this world just a little bit better. Too few children are given this sort of education, and too few children have the opportunity to know that animals have feelings and needs just as we do. If I couldn't get a pet, showing them animals of a farm of through this sort of way would be ideal. Anyways, if you are in Mississauga, check out the petting zoo at South Common Mall until March 17, 2010.

2150 Burnhamthorpe W, Mississauga, ON, L5L3A2

Swirls Cupcakes

2010-03-12T20:18:00.000-08:00

There is nothing quite as satisfying as a good old delicious cupcake on days when you are feeling down. I have learned this through various attempts at trying to cheer myself up when I am feeling blue. So an entire shop devoted to cupcakes in the middle of suburban Mississauga is just a treat waiting to be explored. I ventured into Swirls Cupcakes today with my beau in tow. The first thing that hit us was the heady aroma of sweet baked goods. It was like stepping into my grandmother's kitchen; had she been a baker and had she lived in a country that wasn't devoted to eating only spicy foods. The cashier was friendly and indulged me as I salivated over their array of cupcakes on display. A rainbow of perfectly decorated morsels lay in front of me. Which one to pick? I had to take the pack of six, and he happily obliged. I had trouble picking which ones to get; they just all screamed "eat me, I'm delicious!" But my discriminating wallet made me make a choice for the six that I lusted after greatly; the Red Velvet Cupcake, Mango Cupcake (pictured; with the heavenly orange frosting), Choc Therapy Cupcake, Lemon Luau Cupcake (pictured; with the delectable coconut topping) and the Marblelous Swirl Cupcake (pictured; with the tasty and messy chocolate ganache). Wait, that's only five cupcakes you say? Well yes, the beau wanted another Red Velvet. Such is the price of love. So what did I think of these tasty little treats? Yum. I was partial to the Marlelous Swirl Cupcake which is pictured above with the chocolate ganache. That sucker was a messy and delicious one. I'm sure I've got ganache on my camera now. I couldn't take a picture of the red velvets or the choc therapy cupcakes but they were superb. The texture of the cupcake was moist and dense, which was very nice. I thought the icing could have used more sweetness, but the opinion of my discriminating pallet was squashed by my sister and beau who enjoyed the icing the most.

So if you value baked goods and if you are feeling low or high I do encourage you to check out Swirls Cupcakes. They may not be nutritious, but life is short and should only include the delicious.

241 Queen St. South, Unit 1

Streetsville, Ontario L5M 1L7

Nature's First Green is Gold

2010-03-03T21:42:00.001-08:00

I miss the beauty of fall, and all the gorgeous golden hues that go along with this magical season.

Browsing through my photographs, I found these fall pictures that I had taken.

They are bringing me an everlasting desire to return to those golden days.

Hello! (Again!)

2010-02-28T00:22:00.001-08:00

I started this blog quite some time ago when I first got into blogging. It was a little side project where I just posted random thoughts about the things that I found relevant in my life at that time. But I soon became bored with blogging because I felt that this blog didn't adequately represent who I really was or what I was trying to say. About a year later, I started another blog, Insights. This became my heart and soul of a blog. I finally had a space to just post whatever I wanted, and it really did reflect the things I wanted it to reflect. But now, I look back to this blog and find that I want to revamp it and keep it as a Food and Random Rantings blog of mine! I love to just write about what I feel like and cook and bake random delicious (and sometimes not so delicious) goods. This blog will be that space. So expect no coherence in my posts, but do always expect my opinions, writings, and delicious foods to be shared with you all! :)

Lasagne recipe

2009-09-06T22:04:00.000-07:00

So I was asked to make lasagne for some family friends who were coming over today, and I thought I would take this opportunity to give my lasagne recipe. I have another one that I use for only vegetable lasagne, but this one was a meat one. I shall post the vegetable recipe next time I make it.

Ingredients

One medium sized onion chopped

Six cloves garlic (at least!) – side note: I love the taste and smell of garlic, so I add this many, but cutting down the garlic to two cloves is fine too

Two pounds of lean ground beef

1 28 oz can crushed tomatoes (or chopped tomatoes if you want the sauce to be a bit more chunky)

1 can tomato paste mixed in with half a cup water

2 cups tomato sauce (or pasta sauce, whichever one you prefer)

4 tablespoons fresh chopped Italian parsley

2 tablespoon of white sugar

1 teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon fennel seeds

1 teaspoon dried basil

1 ½ teaspoon Italian seasoning

1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper (the fresh one really makes a difference!)

8 – 12 lasagne noodles (follow the cooking instructions on the box depending on the type of noodles)

23 ounces ricotta cheese

¾ teaspoon fresh grated nutmeg

1 egg

3 teaspoon fresh Italian parsley

4 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

2 cups shredded parmesan cheese

Instructions:
1)In a large pot, warm ground beef and start breaking with the back of a wooden or plastic stirring spoon

2)When the beef starts to brown, add the chopped onion and garlic and mix with the beef until it has changed to a brown colour and the onions are translucent

3)Stir in the can tomatoes, the mixture of tomato paste and water and the two cups of tomato sauce

4)Add the sugar, the fennel seeds, the 4 tablespoon parsley, the salt, Italian seasoning, and basil to the beef and tomato sauce mixture. Stir well. **note: Since I am Pakistani, I add some chilli powder to my lasagne mixture just to give it a bit of a kick. If you want to do this as well, add only a teaspoon to the beef and sauce mixture with the rest of the seasonings.

5)Simmer on medium-low heat for an hour and a half at least. At this point, you can refrigerate the sauce and make the lasagne the next day if you desire.

6)Mix the ricotta, egg, parsley and nutmeg in a bowl.

7)Cook lasagne noodles according to the box’s instructions

8)And now onto assembly!

9)Put some of the meat sauce on the bottom of the baking dish that you are using

10)Next, add a layer of noodles

11)Then add a layer of the ricotta cheese mixture

12)Then add mozzarella cheese and Parmesan cheese

13)Then add another meat sauce layer

14)Lay down noodles once more

15)Note: always put noodles on top of the meat sauce layer. I find that if they are on top of cheese, they get hard in the oven and are impossible to eat

16)The top layers should be meat and mozzarella cheese

17)Cover with foil and bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees

18)Remove the foil and bake for another 20 – 25 minutes

19)Remove it from the oven and allow it to cool for at least 15 min before eating

Sookie and Bill: A future in sight?

2009-09-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

Now, I know there are those on team Eric and there are those on team Bill. I am definitely on team Bill. I feel as if Bill truly does love Sookie, and that’s why he wants her to be with him. She was the first one to truly welcome him to town with open arms, and he has always been there for her, even risking his own life in order to save her. I thought that one of the most tender moments between Sookie and Bill was when he rushed into her room after having a dream she was being choked and woke her up from fear that he was unable to protect her.

Now although I am quite sentimental about Bill and his actions, he may have some hidden motives as to why he wants Sookie for himself. I mean, does Bill only love Sookie because it allows him to be able to express emotions the way that he thinks he ought to if he were a human being? Bill seems to be the only vampire with the ability to feel so strongly about a human being. I use the lines that Isabel said to Eric in season two when she claimed that humans felt much more deeply about things than vampires.

Does Bill only pretend to feel deeply for Sookie? Or are his feelings real? I’m betting on the side of real, but there are others who disagree.

You can contrast Isabel and Hugo’s relationship with Bill and Sookie’s. Although there weren’t many instances where Hugo and Isabel were together, I think it’s safe to assume that both Isabel and Hugo did not share the same sense of love that Bill and Sookie shared. Hugo was willing to betray Isabel because he was unable to match her abilities; her strength and lifestyle. Isabel was willing to get Hugo be destroyed by Godric because of his betrayal; hardly something that Bill would allow. Although I’m sure Sookie is much more useful to vampires then Hugo is because of her abilities.

Question of the day is, do you think that Bill is using Sookie in order to feel human, or for some other purpose? Or does he really love her? Or a combination of both? Do you think Maryann is right about Bill being able to walk away so easily from Sookie?

And then there are the questions about Bill’s past with and without Lorena. First of all, I HATED how the writers portrayed Bill as first of all being a savage monster killing people with Lorena, and then having him just suddenly have a change of heart and blaming her for all his actions. I know that Lorena is able to exert a lot of control over Bill because she is his maker, but come on; having Bill just blaming Lorena for his years of brutality is hardly justifiable. Vampire or human, some decisions are your own to make. I thought it was such a cop out for the writers to have Bill blame his entire lifestyle on Lorena, and I hope they explore how he actually came to the realization that his way of life (or death) was completely immoral and savage.

Actually, do you think that Bill’s lifestyle before was immoral and savage, or was he just simply doing what was in his nature to do? Back then there was never any true blood, so vampires did need to feed on humans in order to survive. And humans justify wars and killing all the time in the name of survival, so are vampires really any different from humans?

On a hilarious side note: I loved when Bill told Sookie to shut up in episode two of season two! I love a man in charge!

True Blood

2009-09-04T14:46:00.000-07:00

Call it nerdy, but I love dissecting the characters on True Blood and just having hours of endless discussions about it with my sister and whoever else watches the show. Growing up, I was such an avid fan of anime, and stories like Buffy and Angel, but when I heard of True Blood I was afraid to get on the bandwagon fearing it would be like Twilight. I know Twilight fans will try to burn me at the stake for saying this; but the story just feels so immature and contrived to me. But True Blood did not disappoint me one bit. Alan Ball has a way of writing characters that are completely believable. They are seldom one dimensional, and often tread the line between good and evil in ways that we ourselves do every day. This is what makes True Blood so appealing to me; it has that element that Six Feet Under had (still my number one favourite show of all time). Nate and all the other characters were so utterly human in their exploration of death and life, as are Sookie, Bill and Eric in True Blood. Each character has to battle their own demons, as Lettie Mae puts it and find their way in the grey areas of morality, love, life and death. After all, vampires themselves exist in that grey area of life and death.

But the first character I will focus on is my favourite; Bill Compton. I watched True Blood with fresh eyes; I knew nothing about the series or the books, and so viewing Bill as he in the series (I know he is quite different in the books) just made me fall in love with him. Tortured by the cruelty that he is so easily able to inflict on others (as graphically demonstrated by killing uncle Bartlet and in his flashbacks in season two), Bill straddles the lines between control and impulse and love and hatred.

Now, it goes without saying that first season Bill is very different from second season Bill, and I have my theories as to why that is. As I’ve never read the books (but I do know the book spoilers and how Bill is portrayed in the books), I will focus only on the Bill that is presented in the series. I found first season Bill to have many more layers than second season Bill. I think the writers were trying to pit him and Eric against one another in the second season, so they presented Bill as the do-gooder, but it didn’t do him any justice to deny the extremely dark tendencies he had in season one.

For example, Bill had no qualms killing uncle Bartlet, having a mass orgy with his three vampire friends, or killing Long-shadow. I think that beneath all the layers of goodness that he puts up for Sookie in season two, Bill has a very dark side that I hope will present itself in season three again. Unlike Eric, who is not afraid to be what he is, Bill tries to straddle who he is with who he thinks he ought to be. I think that’s what makes Bill accessible though; that even after almost 200 years he still doesn’t have a good grasp on who he actually is.

I found it disturbing that he would willingly associate with those three vampires that he knew were willing to inflict evil just to appease his own loneliness. I understand that the line between human and vampire are not easy to walk, but Bill makes choices which are clearly immoral and so far removed from the person he wishes he could be.

There are also those words from Maryanne which haunt the future of Bill and Sookie: “though I dare say there is nothing stopping him from one day leaving you, cold”.

...I will continue Bill's discussion on my next post...

Moskovskiy Metropoliten

2009-04-22T18:18:00.000-07:00

I have studied Russia since the start of my academic career. It still amazes me as to how many people do not know the beauty that Russia has to offer, especially architecturally. There is St. Basil's, which is probably the most famous architectural monument in Russia, but one thing that really makes me squeal in delight is the Moscow Metro. Designed during the reign of Stalin, the metro stations were supposed to be a highlight of the sophistication and opulence enjoyed by the Russian people (although this may not have been the case factually, these metro stations still truly scream luxury).

The Komsomol'skaya Station
Designed by Shchusev

The Novoslobodskaya Station

Other Stations along the metro:

Opulance

2009-04-21T20:30:00.001-07:00

Detail. Opulence. Around the world.

England

India

Mexico

Russia

America

I <3 Moorish Architecture

2009-04-16T22:12:00.000-07:00

So inspiring!
I want these to be an inspiration for my own house (when I get one!)

All images from Architectural Digest

Exam Treats!

2009-04-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

Its exam time! And everyone I know is either super stressed or super busy. I always find during exam time my craving for sweets goes WAY up, so I try to curb this by making my own baked goods. I try to eat somewhat healthy when I’m stressed or not stressed, and I love to bake and cook. These banana muffins are a perfect study pick me up and always make me feel super good.

Recipe:
2-3 very ripe bananas (I like to wait until mine are black!)
2 eggs (or 1 if you want to make it really low fat)
2 tablespoon of oil (for moistness)
½ cup of sugar
1 ¼ cup of flour
1 teaspoon baking soda

1) Mix the flour, sugar and baking soda together in a large bowl
2) In another bowl, put the banana, oil and eggs into the blender until completely smooth
3) Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients
4) Bake for 20-25 minutes at 350ͦ

5) Enjoy!

You could add a table spoon or so of chocolate chips if you wanted banana chocolate chip muffins, but I find these to be perfect!
For those of you that have exams as well, GOOD LUCK!

Sad Story

2009-04-10T21:51:00.000-07:00

I read the saddest article that says that due to the recession, pet owners are choosing to give up their beloved dogs and cats or put them down in order to save on medical costs for pets. Since most people do not have pet insurance, the thousands that it costs to take care of an animal is just not affordable on any level. I feel so horrible for these pets, as I do for the owners that have to give them up. I have a wonderful sweet cat and I could not imagine giving him up for any reason, especially financial, so my heart really breaks for those owners who have to give up something they love so they are able to afford a place to live. I know the only way to really make a difference here is to give more to local animal shelters that are being overworked due to the large amount of pets that no longer have homes. Or if you can afford it and want a pet, please go and adopt one of those pets in need from your local humane society. Pets are a wonderful, loving addition to your household and provide the best unconditional love that you can ever imagine!

Angry Side Note: Greedy Universities

2009-04-09T16:34:00.001-07:00

I was appalled, no, make that disgusted when I heard of UofT’s flat-rate tuition fee program that the university would like to start in 2011. All I can say is that thank god that I am graduating from UofT in 2010 (hopefully), and that I won’t have to deal with the horrible ill-planned mess that the university is about to introduce for students. Any student who is taking less than four credits would be downgraded to part-time student status, meaning they cannot have access to interest free OSAP or any of the other benefits of full time student status (like child care on campus). Those who chose to take four courses will have to pay around $1200 more for something they are not even getting a benefit out of. The only people that will be getting a ‘fair deal’ from this are the students taking six courses a year, and honestly, that is tough on any student who also wants to work and go to school at the same time. I hope that UofT will come to their senses and keep tuition fees as they are now. Or a better novel idea: lower the tuition fees for students like we’ve been lobbying for!

And this is just a side note: I don’t personally know where all my tuition dollars are going to now! My campus constantly looks like hell. This is not a joke. The moral of the place is constantly low. And despite our new library and our wonderful “communications” building which looks like a supped-up prison cell, there hasn’t even been a slight improvement in campus food, or recreation space for the students. There aren’t even backs on half the chairs at the meeting place!

I love what I study, but I cannot support a program that will disenfranchise so many students and leave so many more without an education. Honestly, I thought that in the recession, the goal was to educate as many young minds as possible to create new jobs in the future to get us out of this mess, not introduce a bogus policy that would keep talented people out of a post secondary education!

For those interested here is the article outlining the policy.

Kindness

2009-04-02T15:16:00.001-07:00

I just read a quote today that made me yearn for my boyfriend. I haven’t been able to spend enough time with him outside of school lately as exams are coming up, but when I read this, it just hit the right note:

'Listen, what you guys really have to do is be kinder to each other.' It's such a simple concept but it's a really important concept with a relationship...when you're in a relationship; it's really not just about you anymore...'People throw away relationships too easily -- marriages especially in this town... not only in this town, but in this world.'
-David Arquette

Agreed. Life is rough enough, and relationships are one place where you should be able to escape to a safe place for a while.

image: deviantART

Great Canadian Site!!

2009-03-28T22:42:00.000-07:00

I hate shipping things from the US. The duties and customs are just a killer and not to mention that the price conversion and shipping costs just make most online 'deals' not worth it. BUT I have GREAT news for my fellow Canadian shoppers. I just stumbled upon http://www.ssense.com/index.php and wow. The site is amazing for designer goods. They are Canadian, so everything is in Canadian dollars and they ship to Ontario FREE!!! :D I feel like I'm in heaven!
Here are two cute things I wanna order:

These Juicy sandals are perfect for dressing up a cute little black summer dress!

I want this Miss Sixty dress (and ONLY $113C on sale!!) but its not in my size *sigh*

Happy Shopping!

Cheap vs Steep

2009-03-28T20:33:00.000-07:00

Don't these Aldo versions look just like the Balmain ones? There is definitely an uncanny resemblance! But the Aldo ones are only $125 Canadian! Now that's a steal.

Pretty Things!

2009-03-23T20:50:00.000-07:00

In light of spring being right around the corner, I wanted to share some things that I thought were nice spring staples. As you can see, my style is very simple and basic, and that's the way I like it!

Dresses: I love dresses, especially easy unfussy pieces that you can throw on and walk out the door in.

from left to right: asos.com, ae.com, asos.com

Shoes!! I love shoes (who doesn't?) but unfortunatly after a back accident I can no longer wear high heels. I still sneak them in sometimes, but I'm usually in pain right after so I have to avoid them!

black tahari driver flat, Red juicy couture flats, white Kate Spade Puka flat.

Shirts - I love an easy summer shirt. The ae shirt has the perfect easy fit and a light material, which is essential in warmer weather.

blue button down: ae.com, Tbags geometric print shirt bluefly.com, tank abercrombie.com

I Want You to Want Something Else...

2009-03-23T19:42:00.000-07:00

I recently read an article “I Want You to Want Me”. After finishing it, I had incredibly mixed feelings towards it. The article is about a woman who wants to experience what it would be like to be sexy. After countless hours spent wondering why certain women exude a sexuality that is completely foreign to her, she tries to emulate those women who are able to capture men and women’s attention through just being themselves. However, in this article, she cannot just be herself to be sexy; her image of sexiness is only complete through butt-hugging pencil skirts and false eye lash extensions. Although the message of the article was not incredibly well founded, it left me with mixed emotions towards this women’s dilemma with her image.

I think the part that really got to me was that she was basing her “sexiness” on what men would want from her, and what women would get jealous of. It was never so much for her. She wanted to evoke jealousy, the kind that she felt that every woman should feel when she looks at other women who she finds beautiful. Of course it’s true that other women stare at other women, sometimes in admiration and sometimes in jealousy and contempt. I see these stares all the time (not towards me, mine you, I’m not that narcissistic), but just observing other people within the confines of the university common area, you can see girls check out other girls like they’re either comparing themselves to them or they are pieces of meat that are in need of grading. What bugged me about this article was that she could not stop sizing herself up to other women. To become “sexy” she even dressed in the clichéd notion of what is sexy, tight skirt, high heels, push-up bra, and then struts her stuff only to find that a majority of people aren’t turning heads with their jaws dropping to the floor. ...Perhaps it is because she didn’t look confident and comfortable, feeling like a caricature of something she longed to be. Not feeling like herself and trying to emulate an image of what she thought others found sexy was probably downright exhausting. On a side note, the notion of women on women jealousy wasn’t particularly inspiring. I felt that instead of appreciating herself, she could only appreciate the beauty in others. The only time it felt that she felt good about herself in the article was in the end when she got the stares of waiters when her “sexy” friends did not. Validating your own looks through ogling waiters is not my idea of sexy.

At the same time, the article evoked some sympathy from me as well. I can understand her frustration. Sometimes you just want to be noticed and feel that tiny bit of admiration from others. I can agree with that, whether it’s through your looks, your work, or something else, everyone feels the need for that little bit of acknowledgement. I just think she goes to the extreme and says that it’s just the physical that matters. There are lots of reasons why guys and girls are attracted to someone, and it’s not always their physical appearance that comes first. Plus, if someone finds someone attractive, there are many people who do not share the same sense of aesthetic and beauty ideal. What is sexy comes in many shapes and forms and is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

Ps, the picture is of the women I find that exude sexiness without trying too hard: Marion Cotillard, Leighton Meester, and Eva Mendes.

Sunshine!

2009-03-04T18:38:00.000-08:00

I saw the top of this dress and I instantly fell in love. While never being a fan of the colour yellow, I must say that it looks stunning on Eva Mendes who wears the heck out of this dress. What I truly find exquisite is the jeweled bodice.

I must say, the skirt is not my style, but the dual textures within the dress itself are incredible. I love how the sharpness of the jewels contrasts with the strait, smooth texture of the skirt. Overall, I love this look!

I dream of you!

2009-03-01T18:57:00.000-08:00

There are only a very few things in life that really spark my savings fund into overdrive. For the past two years I had been saving for this laptop, which was a huge necessity for me, especially in university. Prior to this, I had never really felt the urge to save a lot for one item of anything really. I just save for the future, just in case I go dirt broke and can’t afford my daily Tim Horton’s fix anymore (yes, I am an ubiquitous Canadian Timhoe!). However, lately, my mind has been focused on one thing and one thing alone. It is this precise coach bag that entices me, tickles my fancy, makes me want to run to the coach store and just spend, spend, spend! I dream of this bag at night before I sleep, hoping that it’ll magically be in arms reach by the time I wake up. When I drink my Tim’s fix, I dream of the $10 000 prize, not for necessity’s sake, but for the sake of owning this bag. I almost feel guilty, a bit dirty even, to jump on the coach bag bandwagon. As far as bags go, Coach is ok. I already own a coach that I got as a gift a year ago, and I have no complaints, its built really well and it feels really good. But there is something about this bag that makes me not care that I’m buying into the hype. As a staunch non-conformist, that is huge break from my beliefs! But the design, the colour, everything about this bag screams “Marz” to me! I’m going to try my best to save, although I know this is a hopeless feat. With grad school application fees just around the corner and this ailing economy where nothing is certain anymore, I guess my bag fund will have to wait. ... how depressing!

I Heart Toronto

2009-02-16T18:37:00.000-08:00

Though I am not a hopeless romantic, I have been blessed with the most romantic boyfriend on the planet. Valentine’s Day was a surprise as we went downtown to see Dirty Dancing, the musical. Let me just say that I had the “time of my life”. More than the play, we ended up dining at Aroma Fine Indian Cuisine which was a quiet and nice little romantic Indian restaurant very close to the theatre. It was such a perfect evening, and the chicken there was to die for! Although I believe that Valentine’s Day is a corporate shill of a holiday, it really is the special little moments in each relationship that make everything worth it in the end. It wasn’t the outrageous romantic gestures or the candlelit dinner that made that day incredibly special though, it was the chance to reconnect in a different setting that truly set the day apart. Sometimes, your actual physical surroundings can really make such a difference in your mentality. My suburban town outside of Toronto is an example of the monotony of everyday life. There are only franchises and movie theatres, but nothing that truly screams originality anywhere. I know it’s a cliché to categorize suburbia in this way, but the excitement of a place that has no spark the way a city does, does nothing to ignite the imagination. Toronto was a saviour not because it has overtly romantic facets the way Paris does, but because it is lively and such a change of pace from the suburban lifestyle experience. I honestly believe in places giving people energy, and Toronto gave me the energy and the realization that igniting the creativity in my own relationship through my own means is the only way to keep myself happy. I know relationships are a two person team, but if one person isn’t happy, it affects both people’s outlook, and making yourself happy is the first step in keeping the relationship alive.

The Pressure to Worry

2009-02-02T20:53:00.000-08:00

I have been plagued by a case of worrying. Not that I worry about everything incessantly, but that I have specific nagging fears that envelop my thoughts throughout the day. Lately, they have been worries about my future. The troubled economy, my apathy towards school and most recently, my Indian mother giving me longwinded speeches about the importance of marriage in my future. These all contribute to the silent messages that seem to take up more and more brain space.

My mother, being from a society where marriage defined you as a woman, has been insisting that I find a husband or I will end up alone. Ending up alone wasn’t really on my list of things to do, but the option of diving into a permanent relationship just to not end up alone is a scary thought. Despite the high ratings of approval arranged marriages get, the data does not speak the everywoman’s language. The divorce rates in arranged marriages are lower, but that is due in part to the pressure put on couples to not get divorced. If love does not bloom between a couple, then living with the unhappiness is the duty of the woman and the man. Infidelity on part of the man in the relationship is also not frowned upon as highly as it is from the woman’s side. The ideals that are promoted in the rigid patriarchical society from India are brought to Canada as well, complicating the social structure that exists here. Although my mother means well, she has no idea that these issues will not and have not been addressed in the Indian community, and nor in any other immigrant community stretching from the Middle Eastern to various South Asian communities. It is because these ideals are so transfixed into the minds of those children who grow up in Canada that it sometimes takes generations to break away from them.

Nonetheless, I digress. Being from this mentality of thinking it is hard to know where you stand as a woman in between Canadian society and Indian communal culture. On the one hand, the family pressure to find someone to get married to is extremely tense. It makes it more problematic that I find myself committed to someone already, and therefore, the meetings with these individuals can get rather uncomfortable. As I am a true believer in emotional fidelity, it is hard when a stranger is asking you personal questions and you cannot find it in your heart to answer them. Is it emotional cheating if I give away so much of myself to a stranger, who technically wants to get into my pants later in life? And does having the family pressure make this ok? The situation can get incredibly murky, especially due to the fact that my parents do not know about my relationship. I always feel guilty when I am forced into these situations, and I feel queasy when my partner is forced into similar situations.

On a brighter note, having someone who goes though the same experiences as you, and still remains committed to your relationship can bring you closer together as well. There is nothing like a shared experience of humiliation and awkwardness to strengthen your bond. However, the flip side to this could be that you meet someone you really like, who is already pre-approved by your parents and it causes you to rethink the relationship that is kept in the dark from your parents. There is also an element of unfairness to those others involved, who do not know that you are in a relationship and may feel truly bad that they are breaking up a union just for the sake of their parent’s happiness.

In my books, when it comes to arranged marriage, no is the better answer. There is no reason why a couple who is in love should have to break a union just to please their parents. If pleasing the parents is the number one thing on your partners mind, then it may be time to rethink the relationship altogether. In a marriage of any kind, it is you that’s supposed to come first for your partner, and not the parents. If it is obvious that they are not respectful of this key ingredient of a successful marriage, then it is better to withdraw before you get in too deep. Commitment is hard to find, but finding the right person who will be respectful to you because of who you are, and not because their parents like you, is a gem worth keeping!

As for my worrying sessions, they’ll cool down until I graduate and the pressure is on to either find a job or run away from it all 

Symbolizing Reality: The Humanity of Guantanamo Bay

2009-01-26T23:26:00.000-08:00

The War on Terror has left some lasting international impressions about the United States’ foreign policy which liberals are hoping to reverse in order to gain favour in the international community. There is the ever present hope that President Barack Obama is able to alter the negative perception of US hard power in the international arena and replace it with an image of an America that abides by international laws and global democratic principles. In an effort to reign in positive international as well as domestic opinion, Obama has decided to execute an executive order to close Guantanamo Bay. Although on the surface this seems like a step in the right direction, one has to question the humanity of shutting down a glaring symbol of US cruelty.

Guantanamo stands for the anti-democratic principles which marked the Bush era from the get-go. Without a popular vote to get him into office, and a complete violation of international treaties that the US signed upon, the US had no right to market itself as a viable form of democracy. Violating the Geneva Conventions and then justifying those violations by manipulating the fear of the public is not democratic. It is downright Soviet. But democracy be damned, Bush era US foreign policy was borderline illegitimate. By closing down Guantanamo, the hope is that American foreign policy is able to project their influence into regions of the world without using the symbols that characterized the hard power era of Bush’s foreign policy.

However, closing Guantanamo Bay right away without a concrete and visible plan as to how the detainees will be handled was irresponsible of Obama. Of course it was an incredibly political decision. To market yourself as the anti-Bush will win you votes, but to act as the anti-Bush will win you international and domestic love. And Obama is soaking in that right now. But life for the Guantanamo detainee just got much harder. Without the constant public attention that they are getting, their plight as prisoners without fair access to the US legal system will go completely ignored. The fear is that these prisoners will be left in some other hole to die. But some things never change. If Obama gives the public the perception that he has moved away from Bush’s foreign policy, then that is all that matters to the American public. The detainees and those whose lives Guantanamo actually effects is left completely out of the picture. Those issues are not discussed by the public or the media, because closing the symbol of American cruelty, which at one point the American public sanctioned as necessary, will finally bring the American public the catharsis it so desperately craves. Out of sight and out of mind they say.

The situation on the home front is equally as bleak. Canadian foreign policy needs to address the issue of Omar Khadr, the Afghan-Canadian boy who is being detained because he allegedly threw a grenade that killed an American soldier on Afghani soil. With Obama’s upcoming visit to Canada, it will be interesting to see how this contentious issue will play out. The Canadian public elected Steven Harper because he was more in tune with Bush’s policies (albeit, he was elected when Bush was more favourable in the public eye). However, with the return of a more liberal-minded president, it will be vital to see as to whether Canadian public opinion of Harper will change, especially since Harper has been incredibly cautious as to how he approaches the issue of Omar Khadr. Canadian public opinion also seems to be split on this matter. Khadr has humanitarian support on the grounds that he is a Canadian citizen and should therefore be returned to Canadian soil. Many also believe that Khadr should not be able to return to Canada because of the suspicious circumstances of the Khadr’s residency in Canada. The Khadr’s were able to gain refugee status in Canada despite Mr. Khadr, Omar’s father, being linked to both Al Qaeda and having personal ties to Osama bin Laden. It is quite understandable for public opinion on the Khadr’s to be negative. Abusing the immigration system in Canada is sadly incredibly common, and I will be writing a post later on addressing this issue. Nonetheless, the Khadr case is a prime example of when politics fails the individual. Omar was just 15 at the time of his alleged killing of the American soldier. At 15, Omar would have been a child soldier, which effectively makes him a victim of circumstance under international law. Moreover, Canada is the only country to not bring home its nationals. I understand that Harper cannot afford politically to be coy with the press about the Khadr issue since a large contingent that votes for Harper feels that the Khadrs should not be in Canada. Despite these political barriers, Omar was just a boy. To take this political issue out on a 15 year old boy is a galling example that politics and humanity are distinctly separated and reconciling them is not only difficult, but sometimes downright impossible.

Foreign policy debates do not only focus on resources and abstract land masses known as states, but on individual human lives. Omar Khadr’s family may have immigrated under false pretences to Canada, but abandoning a 15 year old boy to punish the downfall of our lax immigration system is incredibly harsh. Furthermore, the circumstances in which he is getting charged for a war crime is ridiculous are well. American soldiers are inside Afghanistan to fight a war. American soldiers are going to come into contact with enemy combatants all the time, hence the war. When an enemy combatant inevitably strikes at you, as my professor so eloquently put it, “shit happens”.

You Took Away My Right to Shop!

2009-01-25T22:20:00.001-08:00

I’m sorry, I just had to ask it: Why do the Gap, Banana Republic and Old Navy not deliver to Canada? Can a Canadian girl not get the casual look for less online? No wonder we’re in recession. Shame on you Gap inc.!

Resurfacing Love

2009-01-25T21:14:00.000-08:00

Recently, I read an interesting article that got me to think about boyfriends and girlfriends and the fine balance there is between the past and the present. The article was entitled “The Power of First Love”. First love is able to transcend the boundaries of your present relationship and nurture a seed in the brain of men and women who always feel a fascination to go back to that one time where love was free from the complications of adult relationships. Although this sounds immature and slightly nostalgic, this phenomenon has its roots in science. In the article there are several relationships that are destroyed by a spouse that still lusts after their first love. Although the article puts a positive spin on how the jilted party can “reinvent” themselves, it fails to view the very real and human side of these devastated relationships and paints a rosy picture for those who are able to destroy their present for one more chance at correcting their past mistakes and heartaches. But with science on the side of those who cannot escape their past relationships, is it possible to forgive them or to excuse their behaviour?

This topic was of particular importance to me because it is constantly on my mind as to how relationships are formed based on one’s past experiences. Surely anyone who has been in a relationship knows how important, and sometimes devastating, it is to learn about your partner’s romantic past. There are the trite insecurities that both partners involve face as to how they measure up to other persons past experiences. I have no conclusion after reading this article. It presents us with the contradictions inherent in our society. Prominent psychologists are constantly telling us that we need to overcome the past and live in the present and be happy with those who we are with. But love stories, movies and now scientists are claiming that it is hardwired into our brain to long for your first love. Is it possible to overcome biology, or is it that we will always give into our primal instincts at one point in our lives? Then there are the considerations that if we were to give into these instincts, are we able to forgive ourselves or forgive those who have ruined present relationships and sometimes lives, in order to live out a biological destiny?

The article also brought to light the question as to how truthful we are to ourselves about those we proclaim that we no longer love. My boyfriend and I have always discussed our past relationships with a bit of restraint, never showcasing our true feelings for those who we left behind. His story of lost love was devastating, as it was exactly what the article described; being in love at an early age only to be torn apart by parental influences and never being able to physically communicate afterward. Of course this presents us with the whole “The Notebook” scenario, that one day they will find one another and rekindle the romance that they would inevitably have started had it not been for society meddling. Yet the side of The Notebook that is never told is how it ruins the lives of those who are already in the relationship with one party. The situation between partners can grow tense even if the confession of feelings for their lost love is confessed. Recently, my boyfriend and I played the game “shoot, shag, or marry?” He confessed that if I were not in the picture he would surely marry this girl from his past. His honesty left me dumbfounded, but the reality of the situation is much more complicated. He has insisted that this scenario would never happen, yet he and I know that he cannot help but let those unresolved feelings bubble to the surface of his mind once and while. And it is those feelings that are primarily responsible for driving our actions.

However, there is the other, albeit, more rational side to this scenario as well. Both parties in the relationship have first loves, or first lusts. If each party can make a commitment to stick with each other, isn’t that enough to override biological longings for those in our past that we simply should be able to let go? I do not have the answer to this question. There is the other more disturbing element that if you are incredibly happy in your present, is there a trigger that makes one long for their past? Is there a point in which we are ever able to let go of our past, and even if we are, are we ever able to let go of those feelings we harbour for our first love? This article seems to suggest that we are only able to suppress those feelings, and some of us stay in relationships out of fear that we will be hurt or hurt the other person by leaving. However, if fear is the only thing keeping us together and our longing for our pasts is as intense and hardwired into us as to leave a 10 year long marriage and committed relationships on whim, are any of us really safe from our own feelings for our own past lovers? Are we our own relationship sabotages by rekindling memories of pasts loves?

I do not believe that it is justifiable to leave any relationship without considering how it will affect the lives of others involved. I am not advocating staying in a relationship if you are miserable, but to revert back to the love you had for others while promising that love to the person you are presently with is not fair, and nor is it right. However, with our pasts shaping who we are, how we think and our present relationships, it is hard to get away from the notion that those in our pasts have had a profound impact on us and sometimes that impact is enough to justify breaking away from the commitments we have made in the present. I suppose it is best to say that there are those we love, and there are those that we will always love.

Over-Share and Why I Don’t Like You

2009-01-24T23:31:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been confronted with a case of strangers who over-share. Yes, there is nothing more notable then meeting a man or woman who thinks of you as their long lost pal and best friend from another mother and wants you to be a part of their life. Now, as warm and fuzzy as this situation sounds, more often than not (read: ALWAYS) this is creepy and causes me to dash out of various restaurants, grocery stores and other civilian getaways at the mere sight of over-sharers.

Over-sharing has put a damper on many of my would-be friendships. You see, I am not much of a talker and for that reason, people believe that I am a listener. This assumption has led me to be the victim of others trying to become my friend by telling me about their divorce dilemmas, custody battle hearings and how they disapprove of my lifestyle choices.

Exhibit A: Crazy Lady and her divorce dilemmas. There I am, walking in my most favourite of grocery stores when Crazy Lady (my affectionate nickname) comes up and starts to ask my sister and I personal questions like “how do I kill my husband?” and “what kind of medication would I give to make him just hurt a little?” This would all be in good fun except for the fact that I have no idea who she is. Her response is that she has seen me in the grocery store “a couple of times” and thereby feels the need to clue us in as to how her divorce from her husband is going. I do not know this woman’s name. I have never seen her at the grocery store and her comments seem to suggest that she has stalked me out as her victim. I also make the mistake and think that she is joking about trying to kill her ex-husband. Alas, in my many conversations with her in which she tries to pry my name and phone number out of me, I get to understand that her husband and her are in the middle of a nasty little divorce and her kids are being taken away from her. Now, as bad as I feel for this lady, and I really do feel horrible that a mother is put in that situation, I just don’t understand why I was chosen as her sounding board / confidant. I am at least 20 years younger than her. I try my best to avoid eye contact with her when she is in the same grocery store as I am. I try to laugh when she asks me about poisons that will “do the trick”. When her face does not reveal the least bit of humour, I try to run home terrified and somehow think I have left my wallet there and she has found out where I live and will google map me when she gets home. She stalks me at the local Tim Hortons trying to pry my phone number out of me and she tells me that she’ll “keep me updated” on her events. I just don’t know how to tell this lady that I am not her friend and that I don’t like you. This sounds harsh, and well, it is harsh. But honest to goodness, can a girl not just get a little food and coffee and not be harassed by the locals who try to squirm their way into my life with their own problems?

Take example number two: the Tim Horton’s lady. Yes, she is sweet, but I have a succinct feeling that she is slowly but surely dropping bits of poison into my coffee every time I come in. Like a jilted lover, she and I were on the best of normal customer-service relationships. However, things turned sour when I brought my boyfriend in. He and I were holding hands when I went up to the counter alone. No longer was there a friendly smile on her face but a disapproving glare in which she asked me in her thick Indian accent “is that your brother?” Not getting the response she was hoping for, she has never been able to smile at me again. In fact, she deliberately makes sure my coffee tastes like cigarettes. I guess she felt that for those years that I had come into Tim’s without a boyfriend she had my life worked out in her head. Throw in the fact that I have a boyfriend and all her preconceived notions about me being a good little brown girl are thrown into the burning pit of hell. My question is why did she feel that she and I had such a good rapport when the extent of our conversations were cream, sugar and baked goods? And did she feel the need to be interested in my life when I am just a customer and nothing more?

In the larger extent of things these instances are minor annoyances that I have to face. Yet, the tendencies of over-sharers are becoming increasingly prevalent in society. In an age where we can check everyone’s facebook status and become so in tuned with virtual strangers lives, do we believe that this sort of cyber-stalking can work in the real world as well? Are we too invested into the lives of strangers? Or is it that we are not able to reach out to actual human beings anymore and try to create bonds and friendships with those who we merely see everyday and not with those who actually hold our attention and will give us the meaningful audience that we crave?

What do you guys think?